Thanks Tony. You're right. Making her feel bad might not make me feel better though, especially if she cannot see that there's a problem, which my husband suspects would be the case.

She lost her husband - my dad - last year. Before that, she had years of nursing him as he was an immobile vegetable with Parkinson's Disease by the end. Her life involved calling ambulances to pick him up off the floor when he fell and trying to feed him when he could barely swallow anything. She only buried the ashes recently.

I assume she thought I didn't want the keyboard anymore. The only reason I didn't ask for it back earlier was because I thought she was using it, and I felt her need was greater than mine. Not because I didn't want it back ever!

I think I will probably pass that information on when I see her, but I don't want to end up feeling worse because I've upset her. It's a tricky balancing act, and my family have a history of lacking sympathy and trampling over my feelings. Everything is always me being unreasonable.

Furthermore, part of the problem, is that she's not very bright. I didn't really realise this until my husband started making jokes about it, but honestly, when I look at my mum through a lens of 'stupid', everything starts to make more sense.

Of course, I grew up worshipping her, looking to her for answers, and it wasn't until my husband said she was stupid that I actually realised that behind the bright, cheerful, doesn't-look-stupid person, is someone who's not very bright.

And there lies a big part of the problem. That and inconsideration. She wouldn't do this to my sister because my sister has always flown off the handle. For that reason, she got a lot more of what she wanted growing up - including things I'd been denied. She got respect. Mum wouldn't say no to her.

It's a big mess, to be honest.