Sorry to hear about your difficult childhood. I was a bit like that. Mistreatment was subtle and no murder or overt abuse went on, but I struggled. I do think Christian principles were helpful to me, but at the same time, my parents' behaviour was not always helpful. I wrote about my flaky faith here, with references to Santa too! :) https://medium.com/inspire-believe-grow/are-christians-deluded-559ce97e8338