I'm glad you are able to say this, despite your experiences. It shows that maybe, one day, you'll forgive, I think - which might help you.

My dad wasn't drunk. He was just horrible. He was a relentless critic who behaved in a similar way at times, but without the falling down drunk episodes.

It sounds like you're healing, slowly, in your own way. I sometimes think it may only be possible to fully process these things after the perpetrator has died.

I cannot entirely forgive my dad's behaviour either, but I do understand that he thought his behaviour was right, and correctional, and appropriate. I disagree.

He didn't understand the harm it did. He didn't care. I resent that. But he wasn't all bad, and I don't hate him. He's gone now.