I really believe having a supportive partner makes the world of difference. I'm sorry you had such horrible men in your life. I had bad experiences too, but finding a supportive partner turned everything around and enabled me to grow and prosper. I've never been on antidepressants, because I didn't want to become dependent on drugs and was always raised to 'pull yourself together' - but I was incredibly depressed for a long time. The change I needed was emotional support and control over my life. I'm glad you've got that too.