I don't live in the USA, so cannot comment on the situation there, but your assessment in college that people liked to party with their friends is probably correct. I don't know if you were naive. I'd have probably thought the same. I hope it's not all about race over there. I'm glad you had such a nice time in college that you felt race wasn't an issue - until it was. Some of the things that you experienced later are just awful. So sorry. Yes, it is sad that you feel you have to worry about your son in this way.