I can understand your family not wanting to celebrate the day if it was associated with a loved one's passing, but they should have made you feel of equal importance the week before, or celebrated on another day. I'm sorry you missed out in this way. And sorry you had to hear such awful things from your mother.

I was born prematurely and nearly died, probably not helped by mum being on a diet, when most mothers eat for two. I have my own issues, but I did get to celebrate birthdays. Sorry you missed out. Thanks for sharing.